Weird Al Yankovic - Your Horoscope for Today Lyrics | Weird Al Yankovic Lyrics
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| Lyrics >> Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors - Your Horoscope for Today Lyrics | ||
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Some information about Your Horoscope for Today Lyrics Title: Weird Al Yankovic - Your Horoscope for Today lyrics Artist: Weird Al Yankovic Album: Running With Scissors Visitors: 12 visitors have visited Your Horoscope for Today Lyrics since Feb 12, 2007. AQUARIUS!There s travel in your future when your tongue freezesto the back of a speeding busFill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole 17 hours a dayPISCES!Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virusYou are the true Lord of the Danceno matter whatthose idiots at work sayARIES!The look on your face will be priceless when you findthat 40-pound watermelon in your colonTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarfthen give ahickey to Meryl StreepTAURUS!You will never find true happiness - what you gonnadocry about it?The stars predict tomorrow you ll wake updo a bunchof stuff and then go back to sleepThat s your horoscope for todayThat s your horoscope for todayThat s your horoscope for todayThat s your horoscope for todayGEMINI!Your birthday party will be ruined once again by yourexplosive flatulenceYour love life will run into trouble when your fiancehurls a javelin through your chestCANCER!The position of Jupiter says that you should spend therest of the week face down in the mudTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose whiletaking your driver s testLEO!Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt andstaple it to your boss s faceoh noEat a bucket of tuna-flavored puddingthen wash itdown with a gallon of strawberry QuikVIRGO!All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent -except for youExpect a big surprise today when you wind up withyour head impaled upon a stickThat s your horoscope for todayThat s your horoscope for todayThat s your horoscope for todayThat s your horoscope for todayNow you may find it inconceivable or at the very leasta bit unlikely that the relative position of the planetsand the stars could have a special deep significance ormeaning that exclusively applies to only youbut letme give you my assurance that these forecasts andpredictions are all based on solidscientificdocumentedevidenceso you would have to be some kind ofmoron not to realize that every single one of them isabsolutely true.Where was I?LIBRA!A big promotion is just around the corner for someonemuch more talented than youLaughter is the very best medicineremember thatwhen your appendix bursts next weekSCORPIO!Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fallscreaming from an open windowWork a little bit harder on improving yourlow self esteemyou stupid freakSAGITTARIUS!All your friends are laughing behind your back...kill themTake down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnineyou ve got hanging in your denCAPRICORN!The stars say that you re an exciting and wonderfulperson... but you know they re lyingIf I were youI d lock my doors and windows and nevernever never never never leave my house againThat s your horoscope for todayThat s your horoscope for todayThat s your horoscope for todayThat s your horoscope for today Hottest songs from Weird Al Yankovic : Fans who visit this lyrics also like: |
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